All I want for Christmas ...

... is JOSHUA'S two front teeth. MY poor little one has his left front tooth, but is working on his right one. He normally sleeps very well, except when he's teething. This tooth is no exception. He has awakened once or twice a night for the last 7 out of 8 nights. Needless to say, mommy and baby are a little tired and cranky!

Our Christmas season has been filled with Sunday school parties, shopping, and time with friends. I truly love this time of year, and it has been so exciting to share it with Joshua. He is mesmerized by the Christmas tree and doesn't seem to mind the flurry of activity in our home.

Here's what Joshua has been up to:

Yes, this is a picture of my child in a roasting pan. No, this was not my idea. I do, however, think it's adorable! Joshua blows raspberries ALL THE TIME.

Joshua is really, really, REALLY excited about the Christmas tree!

I just thought this picture was totally cute.

Yes, my child now has another reason to consider himself "scarred for life" when he grows up.

And here's another. He actually seemed to enjoy these photo shoots. Mimi (my mother) is thinking about making a calendar out of them.

We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Love,
Denise, Mark, and Joshua

Random Musings

I really, really dislike the weather we have been having recently. Although I don't mind the cold, I hate looking out at a gray sky. It makes me feel so dreary.

Our little family is still doing well ... despite the fact that it took five days for Joshua to cut his fifth tooth, and neither he nor I slept very much those days. I found myself wondering how on earth we survived the newborn months. It's so nice to have a little boy that sleeps through the night again! I'm starting to get caught up on my rest.

It seems a little weird to be posting Thanksgiving pictures in December, but I'm a little behind the times these days. So here they are:

Me and my baby, celebrating with a Thanksgiving BBQ at
Aunt Gigi and Uncle Chuck's house.

The two of us again, this time at Granddaddy Joe
and Granpeggy's house.

Our little family. I am so thankful for these boys!

Thanksgiving wore Joshua out! He was such a sleepy little guy.

I have been feeling so guilty lately. Joshua is such an active baby, but he is also a bit on the clingy side. He will play by himself, but not for long ... and I have had to "neglect" him a little while I try and get the house cleaned. I know that he should be the priority and that often the house can wait, but I cannot allow my baby to be raised in dirtiness. I feel selfish, and I cannot seem to find the balance between being a good wife and being a good mother. And I guess there's not really a place where one ends and the other begins.

Also, two of my friends have had to bury their babies in the past couple of months. My heart just aches for them. Both of these babies were born with conditions that were not compatible with life. When I was feeding Joshua in the middle of the night (his poor little toothies!), I realized that my friends would probably give ANYTHING to be right where I was then.

I don't think I will ever understand why my friends had their babies taken from them. I feel so guilty that my baby is alive and their babies are not. And although they will be reunited in heaven, it must be little consolation here.

In my work, I have taken care of so many children that were neurologically devastated. I've changed diapers on teenagers who have virtually no cognitive function. I have been guilty of saying that their parents just need to "let them go to Jesus" in the past. Almost 11 months ago, I became a mommy. So now I understand why their mothers don't want to let them go. All these things just make me want to cling to my Joshua even tighter.

He's growing up so very fast. Joshua is adventurous and independent. He likes being the center of attention and having an audience. And I am loving being his #1 fan. I don't deserve the blessings I have been given. I just wish I could get over feeling so guilty.