Three years ago

Three years ago I wrote this:

The End of an Era

Yesterday marked the end of my Nana's life. She was almost 81 years old.

While I am so grieved in knowing that she is no longer here with us, I am so grateful that she knows the Lord and is sitting at His right hand right now, reunited with her husband. She's waited a long time to see my Dada John.

I never thought there would be a time when she wasn't there for me. But I rest assured of God's promise that I will see her again.

October 5, 1925 - September 24, 2006

What a legacy she has left behind!

Three years later, it still doesn't seem real to me that she's truly gone. Only a few weeks ago I found myself dialing her phone number before I realized that she couldn't talk to me. Nana wasn't only my favorite grandparent, she was one of my best friends.

When I think of her, I remember Friday night sleepovers and Saturday morning cartoons. I remember cinnamon toast ... how she would yell if someone cut her off when she was driving ... how she always called me Neecer or Sug (short for Sugar) ... how she never missed a single one of my recitals or choir concerts ... how stubborn she was (apparently it's genetic, because I'm the same way!) ... how she sent me cartoons in the mail in college ... how she bravely kept her children happy, safe, and healthy and provided for them alone after her husband died at age 32 (at a time when single women were a rarity) ... how she loved her little doggies ... how excited she was when I met Mark, and when we got engaged ... how she loved me ...

I still miss her. I couldn't put my love for her into words if I tried. I hope I didn't take her for granted too much. I hope she knew/knows how much I loved/love her.

Praise the Lord! As much as I'm missing her now, I know she's with her beloved Jesus! I am so glad that I can grieve but still hope! I am so thankful to my precious Father, who provided a Home for us after death!

Although she was alive when Mark and I were married, I find myself thinking so very often of how I wish she could have been here to see Joshua. I wish he could have known one of the greatest women I've ever met. Although she's in Heaven, I do believe that she knows that Joshua's here, and that she is so pleased when she sees my little boy!

I love you, Nana. I miss you.

Can you do me a favor? I'm hoping that anyone who reads this can pray for my friends Karen and Mary. They both have different struggles but are going through times so tough that I cannot fathom them. Please pray that the Lord will cradle them in His arms and give them peace and rest. And please pray for another one of my friends and her mother, as the mother goes through some health issues. Thank you for coming to the Father with me.

I should be sleeping ...

... but I can't. I have to work tonight, and there's no chance of being canceled. In fact, I think we're short a nurse, so I may be walking into a complete mess. With God's help, I'm sure I can handle it.

The problem is that Joshua woke up at 6:00 a.m. He hasn't done that in months. I think he was having some kind of issue last night, because he also woke up at 2:00 and 4:00 (but he managed to put himself back to sleep both times). He took a short nap this morning, and is currently taking one, but I haven't managed to nap at all. I've been so worried that he won't get the rest he needs that I haven't gotten any rest.

Please pray that I will make it home safely tomorrow, and that I get out on time. When the unit is full, I have a hard time finishing before 0700.

I am enjoying being home with Joshua more than I can say. I am so grateful to my amazing, hardworking husband, who has provided me the opportunity to stay at home as often as I would like. These days with Joshua are so fleeting, and I'm trying to appreciate every moment that I have with him.

Joshua continues to be such a happy, healthy boy. I thank God every day for this blessing. He still hasn't managed to "crawl," but he is scooting around the house so quickly that I have a hard time keeping up with him. He is still my Mr. Toothless. We've started him on Gerber's second foods, which he loves. His separation anxiety is increasing also. (I wonder ... is it bad of me to find it somewhat gratifying when he cries if I leave the room? No, I don't want him to cry, but I do feel like he appreciates me and all I am doing for him).

My parents (and aunt and uncle) will be traveling home tonight after a 2 1/2 week cruise to Greece and the Holy Land. Please pray for their safety.

I have several friends with heavy, heavy burdens at the moment. I haven't asked them if I can mention them on this blog, so please pray for these unspoken prayer requests.

Dear Joshua,

On Monday you will turn 8 months old! Although I love to see you learn and do new things, I have to ask you a small favor:

Please stop growing. Please don't get any bigger.

Time has gone by way too fast, precious one. Every day I see you become more independent. I am so proud of you and all the things you have done. I love to see you clap your hands, and I love to watch you "step." Everyone we meet is impressed by your high fives. And you are so, so close to crawling! As you can do more and more, I'm afraid that you will need me less and less. It's the natural order of things.

I know you won't be growing up overnight, but I don't think time will slow down for us. In just 4 short months, you'll be weaned. Our precious snugly nursing time will be over. You'll be ONE YEAR OLD! Four years after that, you'll be in school and we won't have our "Mommy and baby hangout time." Eventually your mommy will become embarrassing, and you won't smooch me in public. Then it will be time for prom and driving lessons. A few years after that, and you'll be leaving for college. And my heart will be broken in two.

I AM looking forward to these years. I am so excited to see what the future holds. Just ... please don't get any bigger for awhile. I'm not ready for that.

All my love,
Mommy

Welcome to the Mommy Club!

Warning: This blog is not for the faint of heart. If hearing about poop bothers you, please skip this post.

So, it turns out that I had only THOUGHT I was a member of the Mommy Club. 9 months of pregnancy, 18 hours of labor, and almost 8 months of your child's life does not necessarily make you a mother. But this does:

Early this morning, while Mark was getting ready for work, I heard Joshua fussing. Since he wasn't actively crying, I decided to wait and see if he would return to sleep. So Mark left, Joshua slept, and I eventually returned to sleep as well. Around 7:30 I heard the familiar sound of Joshua scooting around on his crib sheets. He was making quite a bit of noise, but he wasn't upset. A few minutes later, after I realized that he would definitely not be going back to sleep, I decided to get him up.

I walked into his room, leaned over his crib, and was greeted by ... POOP. The sheets, the bumper, Joshua's pajamas, and Joshua were covered in poop! For a slight second I wasn't sure what to do; if I had been at work, where this is not an unusual occurrence, I could have simply pushed the "nurse call light" button, and help would magically appear a few moments later. But I was home, alone with a baby, a cat, and a dog, none of whom would be helpful in this situation.

I said a small little prayer, thanking God that this was not a poop caused by rotavirus, and immediately went into "Mommy mode."

I ran for towels and came back. When I stripped Joshua down, I realized just how badly he had covered himself ... he had poop on his hands, his face, up his nose, and under his fingernails. There was poop on his bottom, his legs, and even in his beautiful blond hair. I cleaned the worst of the poop off with wipes, rolled a diaper-less Joshua up in a towel, and gave him an early morning bath. Then I had to change my clothes. Once we were both clean, we returned upstairs to remove the sheets, mattress pad, and even the bumper pad. (Thank you, Carter's, for making washable bumper pads! That was the morning's most pleasant surprise!). At this moment, Joshua has clean sheets and a clean bumper pad. And I have a napping baby.

If Joshua had wanted clean sheets, I wish he would have just asked. This morning is a memory I will never forget! I am now an official member of the Mommy Club.

Here's an update:
Joshua's nap times are getting better. He still cries for a bit on most days when I put him down, but the length of time he cries for keeps getting shorter. He hardly cried at all for Mark, or for my friend Leigh, who kept him for me yesterday morning. But he still cries a bit for me.

This weekend, Mark's parents came down for a visit. They really picked a great weekend to come ... they got to see Joshua learn how to get into a sitting position from lying down AND see him crawl his first step. Yes, he crawled JUST ONE step, but I am still so proud of him. We also had to lower his crib this weekend because he has started to pull himself up ... unfortunately, if he manages to stand up on his own, he doesn't quite know how to get down. He looks so precious when he's standing up and holding onto his crib rails, even if he is crying for me.

It's been an eventful week! I can't tell you just how much I love my little boy!

Cool, Colorful Colorado!

Every year, we travel to Creede, Colorado to stay at Soward's Ranch. Joshua is the fifth generation in my family to experience this trip. Joshua, Mimi (my mom), and I didn't get out of the cabin much, but we still had a wonderful time. Mark and Granddaddy Richard (my daddy) spent a lot of time fishing, but they didn't have as much luck as they normally do.

As promised, here are some of the photos from our Colorado trip:

In case you were wondering, I did NOT see the sign on this cart
until Joshua had been in it for at least 20 minutes.

Joshua did really well in the car ... he actually naps

better there than he does at home!

Granddaddy Richard and Joshua (my snuggly bear!).

We took Joshua out to the first lake to fish. He didn't have any luck this time.

I know he's not looking at the camera, but this should show you
how HAPPY my little boy is -- he's like this all the time!
He really loves the wild outdoors.

Joshua, Grandaddy Richard, and Mark.

With my little boy at the mighty Rio Grande.

Our family. I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams.

God is so amazing ... what a gorgeous view.

I actually took this picture after our return ... but I just had to put it in.
It's one of my favorites of Joshua.

I can't wait for next year! I'm planning on buying Joshua a Snoopy fishing pole! Adios, amigos!