Words of encouragement for mommies ...

One Heartbeat At A Time by Steven Curtis Chapman

You're up all night with a screaming baby
You run all day at the speed of life
And every day you feel a little bit less
Like the beautiful woman you are

So you fall in bed when you run out of hours
And you wonder if anything worth doing got done
Well, maybe you just don't know
Or maybe you've forgotten

That you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh, you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time

With every "I know you can do it"
And every tear that you kiss away
So many little things that seem to go unnoticed
They're just like the drops of rain over time
They become a river

And you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh, you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time

You're beautiful
So beautiful
How you're changing the world
Yeah, you're changing the world

You, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh, you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
Oh, I believe that you
You are changing the world
One little heartbeat
At a time

And you're changing the world

Where we've been ...

Have you been missing us? It seems like we have had so much to do lately. Christmas and New Year's Eve came and went in a blur of excitement and activity. As soon as the celebrations were said and done, it was time for someone's BIRTHDAY PARTY!


Yes, my sweet Joshua Daniel is ONE. We celebrated his special day with family and friends (see below). Initially I thought Joshua didn't like his cake, but he seemed to enjoy it a lot more when he wasn't the center of attention. Apparently he wants the world to revolve around him, but he doesn't want to do it with a bunch of goofy people staring at him. Go figure.

Joshua received an amazing array of presents ... I was so thankful for the generosity of the people who came to celebrate with us. Joshua was really lacking in "big boy toys" before the party, but he isn't now!

As soon as the balloons were popped and the cake was eaten, it was time for our annual trip to Park City, Utah. Joshua did very well on the plane (he slept both times!), but wouldn't sleep at night very well. I guess he didn't appreciate the Pack 'n Play provided by the condo. He enjoyed sledding outside for a maximum of 10 minutes each time but wanted to spend all day in the heated pool we took him to. I didn't ski as much as I normally do, but I quickly realized that I am more sedentary than I thought I was. I am really starting to get ready for Spring and long walks outside! I don't have pictures from the trip loaded onto my computer yet, but I will try to post some soon.

Merry Christmas, Joshua!

We had a WHITE CHRISTMAS!

Just hanging out in January.

Joshua's new funny face ... it really cracks me up!

Joshua showing off his new car (his birthday present from us).

HOPPY BIRTHDAY, JOSHUA!

A game and party favors for the kids.

Sign-in table, games, and other decorations.

Joshua's birthday cake! My mom and I made it
using a special duck-shaped cake pan.

It's smash cake time!

Joshua really didn't get all that messy. Mom and
I forgot to take the cake out of the fridge, so it
was still a little cold when we gave it to Joshua. (Oops).

Our family photo.

Joshua's hair is starting to get CURLY!
He is too adorable for words. (And I'm not biased at all!).

All I want for Christmas ...

... is JOSHUA'S two front teeth. MY poor little one has his left front tooth, but is working on his right one. He normally sleeps very well, except when he's teething. This tooth is no exception. He has awakened once or twice a night for the last 7 out of 8 nights. Needless to say, mommy and baby are a little tired and cranky!

Our Christmas season has been filled with Sunday school parties, shopping, and time with friends. I truly love this time of year, and it has been so exciting to share it with Joshua. He is mesmerized by the Christmas tree and doesn't seem to mind the flurry of activity in our home.

Here's what Joshua has been up to:

Yes, this is a picture of my child in a roasting pan. No, this was not my idea. I do, however, think it's adorable! Joshua blows raspberries ALL THE TIME.

Joshua is really, really, REALLY excited about the Christmas tree!

I just thought this picture was totally cute.

Yes, my child now has another reason to consider himself "scarred for life" when he grows up.

And here's another. He actually seemed to enjoy these photo shoots. Mimi (my mother) is thinking about making a calendar out of them.

We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Love,
Denise, Mark, and Joshua

Random Musings

I really, really dislike the weather we have been having recently. Although I don't mind the cold, I hate looking out at a gray sky. It makes me feel so dreary.

Our little family is still doing well ... despite the fact that it took five days for Joshua to cut his fifth tooth, and neither he nor I slept very much those days. I found myself wondering how on earth we survived the newborn months. It's so nice to have a little boy that sleeps through the night again! I'm starting to get caught up on my rest.

It seems a little weird to be posting Thanksgiving pictures in December, but I'm a little behind the times these days. So here they are:

Me and my baby, celebrating with a Thanksgiving BBQ at
Aunt Gigi and Uncle Chuck's house.

The two of us again, this time at Granddaddy Joe
and Granpeggy's house.

Our little family. I am so thankful for these boys!

Thanksgiving wore Joshua out! He was such a sleepy little guy.

I have been feeling so guilty lately. Joshua is such an active baby, but he is also a bit on the clingy side. He will play by himself, but not for long ... and I have had to "neglect" him a little while I try and get the house cleaned. I know that he should be the priority and that often the house can wait, but I cannot allow my baby to be raised in dirtiness. I feel selfish, and I cannot seem to find the balance between being a good wife and being a good mother. And I guess there's not really a place where one ends and the other begins.

Also, two of my friends have had to bury their babies in the past couple of months. My heart just aches for them. Both of these babies were born with conditions that were not compatible with life. When I was feeding Joshua in the middle of the night (his poor little toothies!), I realized that my friends would probably give ANYTHING to be right where I was then.

I don't think I will ever understand why my friends had their babies taken from them. I feel so guilty that my baby is alive and their babies are not. And although they will be reunited in heaven, it must be little consolation here.

In my work, I have taken care of so many children that were neurologically devastated. I've changed diapers on teenagers who have virtually no cognitive function. I have been guilty of saying that their parents just need to "let them go to Jesus" in the past. Almost 11 months ago, I became a mommy. So now I understand why their mothers don't want to let them go. All these things just make me want to cling to my Joshua even tighter.

He's growing up so very fast. Joshua is adventurous and independent. He likes being the center of attention and having an audience. And I am loving being his #1 fan. I don't deserve the blessings I have been given. I just wish I could get over feeling so guilty.

My boy ...

is probably the happiest baby on the planet. Yes, he can get fussy at times, and we've had a few meltdowns, but generally he acts and looks like this:

Joshua is so proud of himself when he gets a hold of his socks!

Mr. Stinkypants!

Yep, this child never smiles at all.

Occasionally he'll give a picture with a goofy stare. Here's a family picture ... we're all dressed up and at my cousin Scott's wedding!

Such a silly face!

Joshua in this sweater vest may be the cutest thing I have ever seen.

Hmm ... or maybe THIS is the cutest thing I've ever seen.

"My name is Joshua ... hear me ROAR!"

Fingers are tasty snacks!

"I'm a BIG BOY now, Mommy!"

I cannot believe my little boy is going to be 10 months old this week! He has been such a delight, and I am so thankful that God chose ME to be his MOMMY!

It's not fair!

When I was younger, I often complained that many situations in my life were "not fair." My father always replied, without fail, that "the fair only comes in October."

I know that it rains on the just and the unjust. And although my life is about as perfect as I could hope for right now, I am burdened for my friends, several of whom are facing trials I cannot even imagine. The life that is happening around me ... well, it's just not fair.

I feel helpless. I don't know what to do, or think, or say that would make a difference to these people. And I feel guilty when I look at my baby and wonder why God blessed ME with a healthy, huge, precious little boy. Sometimes, I almost take him for granted. When I step back and think about things, I remember how very easily we could have lost him ... but God was gracious to us, and I am so thankful.

So much seems to be wrong with the world. I wish I didn't have to watch my friends suffer. It's just not fair.

The QUACK ATTACK!

Happy (late) Halloween, everyone!

This year our family attended our church's second annual Trunk or Treat event. I had been looking forward to it for weeks. During the afternoon, however, Joshua stopped eating well. He was gnawing on his little fingers like crazy ... his poor little toothies must have been hurting very badly! Since we didn't want a chance to miss Mimi's birthday (her special day is actually on Halloween), I went ahead and loaded Joshua into the car, and off we went!

I had to finish dressing him in the church parking lot. His costume wouldn't fit safely in the car seat ... but I was pleasantly surprised at how he didn't seem to mind the outfit TOO much. He didn't appreciate his duck bill, but he eventually got used to it, and I enjoyed walking around and showing off my little duckling!

He wasn't his usual smiley self -- but I think he was just sitting back and taking in all the activity. The church estimated that 1200-1500 people came, so there was a lot going on. We saw quite a few members of his "fan club," all of whom seemed to love his duck outfit. Mimi and Granddaddy Richard were especially pleased to see him.

Trunk or Treat seemed to be over much too quickly! Joshua was such a trooper, even though he was awake long after bedtime. Before I knew it, it was time to fly my little Joshua-duck home.

"Daddy, please rescue me from this crazy hat!"

Me with my silly little duck.

"I've decided to be serious today."

Joshua with Granddaddy Richard and the BIRTHDAY GIRL!

"Granddaddy Richard, you really QUACK me up!"

Joshua ducks don't need to fly ... they get to be carried!

Happy Halloween from the QUACK ATTACK!

Joshua-duck is getting sleepy ... very sleepy. It's bedtime!